Drunk Nympho Group’s Pact with Chronic Rectal Itch Sufferers’ Association: Post-Merger Integration Issues

At first, I thought the merger of the drunk nymphos group with the Chronic Rectal Itch Sufferers’ Association (CRISA) would work. I thought it would create a stronger association, one that would serve members of both groups better.

I never said I joined the Hot Chicks Drunk Nymphos Group (HCDNG), for any but the basest motives. I also never complained that those of us that are symptom-free had to pay annual dues three times as high as the symptom-manifesting members.

At least I never complained until after the merger. That was when things really started to go South. Now I’m thinking of quitting, retention bonus or no retention bonus.

I should never have been singled out, post-merger, it never happened pre-merger, because I was fraternizing with members of our group outside the meetings. That was why those of us without symptoms joined the group in the first place. Of course, we were all men, duh!

Luckily, we were able to vote down the motion that the merged group start to advertise and to open its membership to new non-sufferers.

If word of the existence of the organization were to be circulated, naturally there would be hordes of non-sufferers clamoring to join the group for the same reason I did.

Membership in the former HCDNG, now joined with the CRISA, would inevitably be seen by some men as a way to meet and seduce women who were “easy” because of their double diagnosis, or more, of these illnesses.

Heck, as any man in the HCDNG group, ie, non-suffering members from the maladies, can tell you, it worked great until the merger ruined things.

Maybe it was some kind of hysterical, cross-pollination that lead to the conditions starting to overlap. It didn’t happen when the Agoraphobics with Shoplifting Problems group merged with the Psoriasis Remediation Association. But the symptoms of our two groups have mixed. Or, I should say the chronic rectal itch symptoms spread to our drunk nympho members.

Not to all, but to most of them. Oddly, I haven’t heard of any members of the chronic rectal itch group who have begun to have problems with drunkenness and promiscuity.

And that’s what has led to the deplorable situation we find ourselves in today.

I don’t speak merely from a selfish point of view when I say that it is a shame that so many of the former HCDNG members, already suffering from the combined illnesses of alcoholism and nymphomania, have now become afflicted with chronic rectal itch.

It used to be so easy to seduce these women. But now, yes, you can still get them drunk. They are still more than willing to act out the sexual propensities of their illnesses, but what good is it since they are constantly scratching their asses?

I have tried to adopt my sexual habits to the post-merger situation. After all, if you have a hot chick, drunk nympho woman and you are about have sex with her, it may seem that the constant scratching of her ass could be overlooked. if not during coitus, at least if she was blowing you.

But this have proven not to be the case. It can be hard for clinicians and other health workers new to chronic rectal itch to understand the severity of the condition.

You might think that the S&M-oriented, non-manifesting members of our former group have an advantage in the post-merger world. After all, half the time they have their women tied up. But to think that this might overcome the problem of trying to “do’ the women while they are scratching their asses feverishly, is to underestimate the hold chronic rectal itch has on its sufferers.

Pain and the customary restraints were all well and good in the pre-merger days for the drunk nympho women. But, post-merger, the accouterments of S&M, by the way, I am a veritable flower child by comparison, combined with the ravages of chronic rectal itch, put the men from the former drunk nymphos group out of sorts to the point where nobody is having any sex.

Some of us are still paying triple dues to not get our rocks off with our fellow members of the merged organization. There is a distinct lack of concern about our problem on the part of the chronic rectal itch members who haven’t been afflicted with alcholism and nymphomania. All they care about is how great it is we can now get cheaper rates at hotels for banquet rooms and personal accommodations.

For how long can the board of the merged organization expect us, the non-manifesting members of the former HCDNG, to continue our financial support when the group no longer serves its purpose.

Sadly, the effect of CRI on the recovery rates of former HCDNG members hasn’t been encouraging for future fund-raising.

Given this deplorable state of affairs, I have decided to hope for a cure, suspend my membership, and look for other groups that would provide a similar outlet.



Writers of Juvenile Erotica Association To Merge with National Book Critics’ Circle :

New York, New York: In a bid to buttress their waning influence in the face of better known book award programs such as the National Book Awards, the NYPL Literary Young Lions Award, the Bakeless Prize, the Tender Cornhole Violators Citation and Best Reading Awards of the National Association of Beauticians and Hair Colorists, the NBCC said today that they will merge with the Writers of Juvenile Erotica Association.

Special Rate for Clergy: