Bunga Bunga Post Accepted by Shirtless Congress Stud Muffin Christopher Lee

“Karima El Mahroug, a dancer known as “Ruby” and who is alleged to have joined erotic “bunga bunga” parties last year aged 17, denies having sex with the prime minister.” Financial Times, Feb. 16

Buffalo, New York (February 18, 2011) -- Former Shirtless Congressman Christopher Lee said today he has accepted a position in the administration of Italian prime minister Sergio Berlusconi to serve in his cabinet as Commissioner of Bunga Bunga.

“I’m not sure where Bunga Bunga is, but I have made arrangements to spend every other weekend either with my family or at the b and b downtown (don’t forget there are a lot of tourist attractions in Buffalo even in the winter) as Michele is still a little steamed.”

“I have received many expressions of support from my constituents during this difficult time for myself and my family. I know what I did was wrong. I should have just paid for it like former Gov. Spitzer. At least he sealed the deal. Part of my arrangement with Silvio will involve counseling to get me past my feelings that there is something “unmanly” about paying for it.”

“Part of my efforts for Bunga Bunga will be to work hard to ensure gender equality and fair treatment in the workplace for Italian women, many of whom I’ve read on the Internet have truly spectacular racks.”

I’d like to thank Silvio for this opportunity to continue to serve my former constituents in western New York whose ties to the people and culture of Italy run deep as well as to serve my new constituents in Bunga Bunga.

I accepted Silvio’s offer secure in the knowledge that his political philosophy and my own are totally in synch. He is center-right and I am a conservative Republican. I believe there are things I can introduce to the Italian political system such as increased gun ownership that will benefit the country as a whole as well as my province or whatever it is of Bunga Bunga.

On social issues, particularly dating, Sergio and I are making progress toward reaching a consensus. He has agreed as part of my compensation package to include a gym membership so I don’t get any love handles from eating too much spaghetti carbonaera. I haven’t been able to convince him yet that our bods make the slightest bit of a difference. He keeps telling me that it’s womens’ bodies that count, not ours, especially for those of us fortunate enough to be able to use our powerful, public positions to attract really hot chicks.”

Statement From Italian Prime Minister Sergio Berlusconi on the Appointment of U.S. Shirtless Congress Stud Muffin Christopher Lee to Bunga Bunga Post

Rome, Italy (February 17, 2011) -- I have followed my latest appointee’s case with interest and I must say that what happened to Congressman Lee would never have happened in my administration.

I have bought so many women during my years in office that sometimes, as with Ruby, I don’t even touch them just to confuse my enemies. You can tell I really am a victim of our leftist judges because my off the cuff comment that the poor Ruby might be the niece of Egyptian President Mubarak, instead of being appreciated for the witty improvisation it was, is being condemned. The poor child was in jail, am I, the Prime Minister of the Republic supposed to do nothing? Anyway, she is from North Africa so how far off was I, really?

Women are all whores anyway so why beat around the bush, scusi, this has been the policy of my administration.

It’s their bodies that matter, not ours. The downfall of this gifted, young congressman is a sad indictment of the unofficial enshrinement of feminism in America. Here in Italy, a man does not spend time in the gym to compete with women for physical beauty. We Italian men simply amass money and power and we pay for it. Duh. That’s nothing to be hung up about. All women are whores except for our mothers and our sisters and I’m only really sure about momma.

Just as I was criticized for making up a little white lie to get Ruby sprung, I’ll probably get grief for giving Christopher a job. But, really, what is the point of being a world leader if you can’t right wrongs?

Poor Christopher. He shaved seven years off his age to attract this Internet woman. I’m 74, should I have to say I’m 67 to attract women? What a joke your American political system is.

It is a shame that this man, your congressman, has to forfeit his entire career over this one episode. Do you think any of the dental assistants, show girls and porn stars I have favored with my patronage, would ever embarrass me by sending something to Gawker? You know why; payment brings loyalty.

A congressman is an important man in America, no. Here at home, I buy them for not so many Euros, but still, a man with a respectable government position shouldn’t have to look for sex on the Internet. I understand that people sometimes lie on these Internet sex ads. If you are a rich and a powerful man, even a mere congressman, why would you sink to looking for women there?

And some of these women lie. Why put all this effort into the chase when you, the man, could be the victim of false advertising? I tell you it isn’t so hard to assess the goods when you see pictures, videos or have them leaning over you in the dentist’s chair, capice?